Attempting To Rid Myself Of The Mindless Drama. . .I Think It Might Be Working XD.

I'm breaking up with Joe. I really can't stand him right now. He promised that he would be my best friend and boyfriend but now he just treats me like I'm just his girlfriend. Nothing more, nothing less.

On the bright side, that means I can accept myself now. For a long time, I've been really confused about my sexuality and two days ago, I started going out with Amber. We've actually liked eachother for awhile now and we were both dropping major hints for the past two weeks and we didn't even notice eachother doing it XD! She makes me really happy though, and for the past few days, I've been so much happier because of her :3. I know she won't EVER change either because she's just the kind of person that doesn't get caught up in all of that stuff, she's an amazing person :3. (Love you,Amber!! X3)

Oh and I totally forgot to mention in my other two ranting posts XD. I got my sewing machine X3. I haven't used it yet thought XD (and it's been sitting beside my bed for like what. . .a few weeks now? XD). LOL I'm a total dork XD.

cosplay update
MY COSPLAYS FOR 2010. (and the rest of 2009)
1. Redo Itachi {Naruto}
2. Start Matt {Death Note}
3. Start Kakuzu {Naruto}
4. (Maybe) Haku {Naruto}

DEREK'S COSPLAYS FOR 2010.
1. Kisame {Naruto}
2. Ryuk {Death Note}
3. (Maybe) Zabuza {Naruto}

I just had an epiphany. . .O__O

A few years back, when my best friend and I started cosplaying, she chose Deidara to cosplay as. After the first con we went to, her parents decided that anime was innapropriate (because we shot a vid of us being random and they found it) so they grounded her for the rest of the school year and she wasn't allowed to have anything to do with anime after that. We ended up calling that situation the "Deidara Curse". Now with the situation with Alex and Joe, Alex was our Deidara cosplayer. . .he took himself out of the fandom completly except this time, it was his choice. He's the second Deidara we've had and we've already lost him. . .so the Deidara Curse strikes again but this time, it took both Alex AND Joe. . .this is getting fucking ridiculous. . .>_>

Updates =/

Well, this month and most of last month was rather shitty. Joe left for camp for two weeks and he came back a total asshole, now we we're fighting alot =/. My best friend, Austin moved to Dubai ( I miss you soo much T.T ) and I have to deal with all the other idiots in the group without backup. . .>_>. Speaking of the group, it's falling apart completly now that Austin's gone.

Joe decided he wants to pursue "being popular" again which is fucking stupid because they ditched him and he said before that he didn't care about all that anymore, he also said that he refuses to cosplay, go to any anime events with me and I feel like he's being cocky and just saying things to piss me off. .. .like the other day, he told me he didn't want me to hang out with one of my best friends when we start highschool because she's very "touchy feely" and he doesn't like it when other people touch me. . . quite frankly, that's not a good reason to tell me to stay away from my best friend that I've known much longer than I've known him =__=. He also told me that I shouldn't hang around a certain girl I'm friends with because it will ruin my "reputation" . . . no. Just no. I'm going into grade nine. . .I don't even HAVE a "reputation" and besides, I really don't care if I'm not friends with "popular people" because I love my true friends so much and being with them is so much better than all of that. I just feel like Joe's trying to run my life now. . .he told me that he wasn't happy that my dream career choice was a tattoo artist. I do realize it's a VERY stereotyped industry but he wouldn't even listen to why I wanted to do it. He doesn't realize how much skill and patience it takes to do that job and he knows how much I would love to just sit around and draw all day and get paid for it.


Alex wants to run for grade 9 rep in September to "boost his popularity". Also VERY stupid because he said he doesn't want to be "at the bottom of the foodchain" and apparently that's what Otakus are =__='. He said that he isn't going to cosplay either or go to cons because he's scared that he'll see someone he knows and it'll "ruin his reputation". That never really bothered him before when he was planning all of his cosplays for the next year or so with me a few days before the news atom bomb hit.

It sucks. I'm trying to keep the rest of the group together because Austin's supposed to be coming home in a year and I want him to have the same people he left to still be there for him. I guess him leaving was more of a blessing in disguise, I'm figuring out who my true friends are and from that, I'm making decisions based upon that knowledge. Like I know right now that the only ones that are still going to be here for him are, me, his girlfriend Meaghan, our friend Amber, and Derek. And I know that Joe and Alex are most likely going to ditch the group completly and he won't have them as good friends anymore. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. . .I mean, I love Joe and Alex to death but. . .Alex wants to be popular and Joe. . .he wants to be popular too but I don't want to leave my friends just to be with him and his friends that probably won't even like me. Ugh. . .I wish I had a rock to hide under right about now . . .-__-